Betting tips: Talk about Bruno, back the Baggies, Haaland to open scoring
The Premier League is back, baby - and we have invited a man who has placed more bets than we’ve had hot dinners to give us some betting tips.
He has advised plenty of ‘cheeky punts’ in the past - but for Sports News Blitz he is going to write our Betting Blitz column, giving you guidance each week on how to beat the bookies.
He will be primarily focused on games in England’s top tier - but we are still interested in the likes of Bromley v Bradford City, so he will throw in the odd EFL game too now and then.
Buckle up and be warned - this is not for kids, which is fine as they only watch Tik Tok videos in between stints of gunning people down on Fortnite…
Manchester United v Fulham
Seasonal greetings! The 2024/25 Premier League campaign is back, and so is the ‘Last Outlaw’ of the sports gambling industry.
NBC were paying Snoop Dogg $500,000 a day to be at the Olympics. I'm getting slightly less for this gig, despite the fact that the Grand Old Man of Gangsta Rap wouldn't know what a Bet Builder was if it hit him square on the goatee.
Nice match to kick us off by the way. Friday's game against the Cottagers presents a quick opportunity for the Red Devils to build on that encouraging performance in the Community Shield, and odds of around 4/7 looks about right for the home win here.
I actually love the 13/2 about Bruno Fernandes scoring first. The tousled ball of Portuguese midfield mischief scored 15 times last season for a team that rarely set the world on fire, and with this bet in mind I do not hate the fact he shares penalty duties with Marcus Rashford too.
He is wonderful to watch in full flow, but should be grateful he made it as a footballer as he was never going to crack the modelling world. Indeed, I’m not saying his nose is big but he could smoke a Lambert & Butler in the shower and not get it wet.
Suggested bet: Fernandes to score first at 13/2 (bet365/Paddy Power)
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West Brom v Leeds United
Leeds were being talked up as banker material to win the Championship in plenty of ante-post Champo previews penned by savvy punters I respect.
However they’ve shipped six goals in just two matches so far.
The Yorkshire giants turned in one of Daniel Farke's worst performances against EFL rivals Middlesbrough in midweek, so I can't really get my head round the fact they are 11/10 favs here.
Make no bones, this is a big test at The Hawthorns. The Baggies beat QPR last weekend and 13/5 looks a right price to get stuck into on Saturday lunchtime. Boing, Boing indeed…
Suggested bet: West Brom to beat Leeds United at 13/5 (bet365/William Hill/Sky Bet)
West Ham v Aston Villa
Footy on the tele from dawn ‘til dusk. We are so f**king back! The late kick-off on Saturday looks decent too, and this reeks of a draw.
Villa were brilliant for large swathes of last season, but Douglas Luiz’s transfer exit to Juventus is definitely a negative.
Niclas Fullkrug looks a top signing for the Hammers, who are now preparing for life after ginger-pubed genius David ‘Moysey’ Moyes.
Suggested bet: Draw at 13/5 (General)
Brentford v Crystal Palace
Palace didn’t want last season to end as they were playing free-scoring, lights out football under the watchful gaze of Oliver Glasner.
Michael Olise may have bailed to Bayern Munich, but they have kept hold of Adam Wharton, Jean-Philippe Mateta and Eberechi Eze and could well be too strong for Brentford here in this low-key London derby.
Palace are 15/8 and I swear on my dad’s f**king work boots you won’t see a better coupon price all weekend.
Suggested bet: Crystal Palace to win at 15/8 (bet365)
Chelsea v Manchester City
Man City – gunning for their fifth title on the bounce - are the ultimate test in the Premier League right now.
However they face a tough gig first up with a visit to Stamford Bridge to play Chelsea.
The Blues added an eighth goalkeeper to their squad after agreeing a £17m fee with Genk for Mike Penders last week. Eight keepers? What the f**k is going on?
The Blues have got about 143 players on their books, but despite this are still bigger than 3/1 to beat Pep’s mob.
In the corresponding fixture last year I remember I was waiting on Man City to beat Chelsea for a £1400+ coupon touch, so obviously had a face like a smacked arse when Cole Palmer converted that penalty in the fifth minute of injury-time to level the match at 4-4.
All results are possible again here, but when you see 7/2 next to the name of generational goal machine that is Erling Haaland, you just know you cannot ignore it.
C'est magnifique, Hooky Street.
Suggested bet: Haaland to score first at 7/2 (bet365/Boylesports/Paddy Power)
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